Theres a whole other side to fashion that people never see. 

I spend my days taking photograph after photograph of myself, after doing this for 4 years studying photography it’s taken a long time and trust me, ALOT of changes! 

Hours upon hours of travelling to pick items out of millions to bring it to your shop floor and online platforms to be able to express your creativity and make yourself different from others.  Trying to create your own style that isn’t always influenced by others, the latest “ must have” or “go to” can put stress and anxiety onto anyone. Making so many people “not good enough” 

We live in a world where everyone is always doomed if we don’t look our best, feel our best or showing the latest goods. 

Wearing clothes that your suited too help you feel good about yourself and help you gain a certain level of self-confidence. It’s true that low self-confidence is not completely and totally attributed to fashion solely, but research has proven that the way you dress can majorly reduce your stress hormones. So, make sure you choose comfortable and fashionable clothing, and if possible, colours that will make you feel calm and relaxed.

Issues with confidence isn't really something you can explain. People don’t understand it either. Thinking your this overall confident person, shows off what they wear, what the latest look is and also thinking doing this as a job is a way to “play dress up” everyday. 

Especially when my job essentially involves being super confident and putting myself out there to the masses. Not being confident day to day is always something that sits with me.

I get it, totally, these two things usually don't go hand in hand. However, fashion is my passion. It's what I've always loved since I was a little girl playing "shops" and “dress up” in a little fantasy world ,growing up and spending all the school holidays following my gran to the charity shop just to be amongst clothes. It's what I've always, always wanted to do. I absorb myself in the world of fashion, with my online presence, spending hours of everyday searching the internet and keeping up with the latest fashion trends and styles both online and on social platforms . It's the only thing I am totally confident in! I know my stuff and therefore come across as super confident with it, because I am confident with it and I completely and utterly believe in myself.

My styling too, can be different to others at times and that is one thing that always makes me feel at my most confident. My comfort zone. 

However, as soon as I'm out of that little bubble of putting together outfits and trends and making creations of what I want things to be , in real life, well thats where I falter. Large crowds and the unknown are two things that knock my confidence. I like to be surrounded by people and things I love and not big on socialising. 

If I walk into a new place that is crowded with people, who aren’t my people it quickly changes.  It's easy to say, "You look amazing  " which is my mantra when it comes to styling, however when I’m out of my bubble and comfort zone this becomes quite the opposite and it's a struggle for me to take my own advice; and often open to the opposite of how I am in my work. It’s always easier to sit on our insecurities. 

So I guess despite seeming confident online, thats my forte, fashion is my passion, photography is my degree and making my surroundings my visual manifestation everyday is what makes me strive for more, so of course I'm confident when talking about it. It’s not all dress up and go, show off the latest outfits and act as if we all look perfect all the time, I would be the first one to say otherwise. 

 I'm totally human, I'm just me, a normal girl with insecurities just like you. What you often see on the outside isn't always reflected on the inside.

It's something I'm forever working on and forever striving to overcome, but honestly I'm happy the way I am, if people perceive it otherwise then you let them be. Dress in your own style, know what you want and be how you want to look.  I'll keep on doing me, absorbing up everything fashion has to offer and  creating a shopping environment where I feel is my “happy place “ as that's one vice that never fails to help me out. The reason I am always wanting to make my surroundings better and better is that it is therapeutic to me, I get bored with things looking the same and always up to challenge myself “ how could I make it better” ??

April 19, 2020 — Carmen Sinclair